Let’s talk about that failed lover (or almost-lover) that’s still hanging about in your phone. Let’s talk about why keeping that connection is stopping us from moving on. Let’s talk about WhatsApp and your love life.
I have been there. The struggle is real. In moments of weakness, I have sat and scrolled back through conversations with the ex trying to read between the lines and/or find reasons for his behaviour. Worse still, I have sat there justifying his shady behaviour from the contents of a few lines of text.
I believe that when all is said and done, there is a massive benefit from deleting an ex’s number from your phone. I get that it’s not easy – it feels so final. But, far from being final, it’s actually the first step in letting go, stopping with the obsessing and ‘what ifs’ and moving forward. It’s actually cathartic, empowering and an act of self-love. It’s you saying ‘That’s it, I’m done’.
There are so many benefits to deleting a failed potential love recruit from our phone. Temptation is removed, easy access is minimised and WhatsApp doesn’t get an opportunity to let us know if their online or offline, nor can we drool over their new super fit profile pic, or try and work our the real meaning behind his status, and, thankfully, we can’t cascade back down memory lane wishing and hoping that things turned out a different way. It’s better to avoid temptation than resist it.
Often, if your anything like the old me, you will have ignored the warning signs and alarm bells. You know how inconvenient the truth can be, especially when you realise that person is withdrawing from you. So instead of addressing unhelpful behaviour, we ignore them and go full steam ahead, hoping for the best and go head-on into a relationship disaster. All because we dishonoured the writing that was so blatantly on the wall and in doing so, we masterfully made-up stories and conjured up epic excuses for often, nonsense behaviour. All the while, doing ourselves the ultimate injustice, selling ourselves short because we feared to be alone or losing the contact.
Think about that “last seen” timestamp, it gets into our heads. It causes what I call, WhatsApp Anxiety. It’s a mind boggle; you think about removing “last seen”, but the downside means you can’t see anyone else’s “last seen”…. You get caught in the WhatsApp web of insistently checking and in the end it only hurts you. Let’s not even mention the two blue ticks that tend to add to our paranoia but also gives us a glimmer of hope. Gah. Delete. Delete. Delete. Self-care. Self-care. Self-care.
When we delete, we avoid experiencing that sudden pang of anxiety when their name flashes up on our phone and instead we can get down to the business of letting go and honouring our worth. That is an act of self-care and that is self-care in action. It’s a step towards accepting that the relationship is over and it stops us from hanging about for crumbs. Don’t look at deleting the ex as losing something; instead, you’re making space – in your heart, head and phone – for something better.
Does this sound all too familiar? If WhatsApp Anxiety is something that you’re dealing with, (yes, those pesky blue ticks get to the best of us), and it’s causing you stress and anxiety, sign up to my FREE WhatsApp self-care tips and start taking more care of you.